The Power of Funyuns

Since our home is located on the corner of a busy street, the amount of debris that blows into our yard is truly upsetting. Slurpee cups and cellophane do a whimsical dance into our yard. Do they not know? Camera boy from “American Beauty” doesn’t live here. Our back patio often looks like a construction crew took its lunch break back there, and just couldn’t find a trash can afterwards. Needless to say, we are constantly campaigning: 7-Eleven, Not in My Backyard.

A few weeks ago, I went outside and picked up a few pieces of trash from the yard and disposed of them in a trash can inside. One of the pieces of trash was an empty bag of Funyuns. Which to Lovey Loverpants can only mean one thing: Wifey went on a bender! She snuck outside just long enough to get her greasy food fix, but she’s not clever enough to hide the traces of her habit. I tried to vindicate myself. But it was a long few days before the trash was to be curbed. Each day presented a new lesson for Baby Girl vis a vi Papa. “Mama likes Funyuns, Madi. Mama denies it, but she really likes Funyuns…I’m chopping onions; bet Mama wishes they were Funyuns.” I was practically waiting to see it on the latest entry of Stuff White People Like: Hiding Their Funyuns Habits.

Even if I did get caught with my hand in the chip bag — I put on my pre-preggo jeans today…and they zipped and snapped shut so BOOO-YAH.

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  • Damn, girl. Baby girl is like two months old and you’re already back into the pre-preg jeans? I know people whose kids are in their twenties that can’t boast that. Good job!

  • Shannon

    Mmmm….Funyuns. I miss the days of being able to eat poorly and not deal with any of the consequences .

  • Aparna

    hahaha. I giggled quite a bit at this.

  • Marissa

    Haa! That’s cute. You will have to be more careful about what you dispose of in the family trash can from what the crazies leave in the yard. Unless you want to start some rumors about yourself in the household… hmm… that could be entertaining as well…

  • Marissa

    PS- I love how the “smart ads” by Google are sending their little web crawlers through your blog post to try to figure out what would be an appropriate ad to post in your sidebar. This is what they’ve come up with:
    “Junk & Debris removal”
    “Dumpster Rentals”
    “Trash Disposal”

    Well then!!