Reasons the Neighborhood FB Group’s Moderator is Resigning

    1. The lost dog posts were starting to be triggering.
    2. In the last six months, 89% of responses were GIFs.
    3. Every suspicious person post was grounds for a Key and Peele skit.
    4. Refereeing the For Sale posts that wandered into the community posts THERE IS A SEPARATE GARAGE SALE GROUP FOR THAT, FOR THE LOVE was becoming a full-time job.
    5. Grandma. Are you really asking what the library’s hours are here? You found your way to Facebook. WHY CAN’T YOU FIND YOUR WAY TO THE GOOGLE?

Interior of Townsville library, ca. 19486. The surveillance photos of the crossing guard at Humperdink and Wolf were all becoming microaggressions.

7. The bellyaching post about cars that park too close to the apron of the driveways (THE HELL IS A DRIVEWAY APRON) on Huckleberry Road were going nowhere.

8. Why can’t people just use punctuation in their longggg descriptions, e.g. “the teens that are always smoking you know the teens the ones that smoke and are always loitering around the library you know the branch near Huckleberry Road where the cars are always parked well beyond the apron you know what a driveway apron is”??
Älgarås Church, Västergötland, Sweden
9. The call for plumber recommendations was evidence why America cannot:
a.) use the search button
b.) make informed decisions without the hive-mind
c.) understand why plumbers are paid far better than, say, everyone despite the fact that without them we will die.

10. She and her family are moving to a remote area of the frozen tundra where they will live off-grid.

About The Author


Kendraspondence is the personal mischief of Kendra Stanton Lee.
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