Reasons That Lady Is Unable to Move Her Yoga Mat To Accommodate Mine

1.) Mercury is in retrograde and she’s bound to tip over and you know–dominoes.

2.) Oosh–haha! She wonders if you think we’ll all fit? All 3 of us in a row?

3.) She’s wearing new lululemon and she’s not sure if they’re see-through.

4.) Because why? Did you get a Groupon for this class or something?

5.) She just watched the Amy Cuddy TED Talk about power stances and this is NOT THE DAY to ask her to shrink back.

6.) She would, but she just told the mustachioed guy, you know the one who doesn’t believe in deodorant, that there wasn’t enough room.

7.) Trust her. She made garlic snape pesto last night and hooodoggies! She’ll be sweating it out of her pores ‘til tomorrow!

8.) Hold on, she just got ReTweeted by Joanna Gaines and she needs to ReTweet the ReTweet right now.

9.) Something about it being time we built that border wall already….

10.) Cooties.

11.) She already set her intention and moving was not something she manifested.

12.) She’s about to teach the class, so yeah, she’s going to stay where she is, right here, up in front.

About The Author


kendratheadverb

Kendraspondence is the personal mischief of Kendra Stanton Lee.
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