Good Riddance

You know the Mirror of Truth that Stacey and Clinton hype up on “What Not to Wear”? What do they call it again? The chamber of mirrors where no belly bulge or flood pants leg goes unnoticed?

I used to feel as though I lived in that chamber and maybe I still do, but Stacey with her oppressive humor and Clinton with his flamboyant helpfulness are not quite as loud for me. In fact, I can barely hear their voices. Are they even here anymore?

It’s not enough to see our reflection in the mirror or to feel the gaze of judgey peeps casting glances YES THAT TRAIN IS CONNECTED TO MY BODY. Now we have the online onlookers peering through the wide window of Fakebook and sundry and various other portals.

Naturally, I am NEVER GUILTY of logging onto the Fakebook for the sole purpose of just…you know…checking up on some peeps. You know, like, to see how they’re doing. And if they’re still photogenic.

Let’s talk about living in our bodies, let’s talk about what it’s like to live in this little 4’10” body, shall we?

And while we’re at it, let’s talk about a whole history of disordered eating and going through half a bottle of TUMS in a week. Let’s talk about years of recovery, let’s talk about thousands of dollars of therapy, let’s talk about being glad just for the ability to have children because of the things I have done to this healthy body with which I was blessed.

Or not.

Rather, let’s talk about how I am grateful for the past that is behind me but how I keep making the What Not to Wear Chamber of Mirrors even more a reality for others when I perseverate on my or others’ appearance.

Let’s talk about how incredibly hard it was for me to lose weight this summer. But how I did it, and how I count it a victory.

To review, I moved last year from a place where I had the luxury of Baby Boot Camp 3x a week and walking everywhere to having to squeeze in dinky treadmill work-outs and driving everywhere. Throw in a major ankle sprain in the spring and I started the summer looking five months pregnant. Uggggggh.

So I took a picture of myself in April which I shall not share with Stacey, Clinton, or the internets and then I Photoshopped it next to the photo I took of myself today. And I can honestly say that working out 5-6x a week helped my outer appearance.

But moreso, I can tell you what no Chamber of Mirrors and what no Fakebook Portal will show about what happened to me on the inside. This summer, I learned that I CAN keep a fitness regimen and I am a better person for it. I know some may count it as selfish, but given the stresses of this past summer (some of which I have written about and plenty I have not), I am simply proud to have lost 5 lbs. and not gained them.

There really aren’t enough doughnuts in the world to eat all the feelings I have had this past summer, but there are surely enough minutes in the day to get the neurons firing and the blood pumping and the serotonin raising. The hot yoga and the 5k and the rowing are all my friends.

Next stop: Getting out of the obesity bracket in order to reduce my life insurance premium. Kids, if you thought being a grown-up couldn’t get any better, well, there you go. This adult stuff is CRAAAAZAAAAY FUNTIMES!

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  • emilygibson2@gmail.com

    You continue to inspire me! Congrats on the major losses and gains!