Category: Witticisms

tom brady massage

Interview footage with Tom Brady that landed on the cutting room floor of “Tom V. Time”

“Mental toughness is kind of overrated. Mostly I prefer sleeping in and binge-watching ‘Grace and Frankie.’”“I am semi-competitive. I get sad when I lose ‘Words with Friends.’ I do.”“Will I retire? Psh. Will Bellichick wear non-hooded sweatshirt apparel, without cutting off the sleeves?” “My kids have a pretty normal life. I mean, ya, their dad […]

Reasons That Lady Is Unable to Move Her Yoga Mat To Accommodate Mine

1.) Mercury is in retrograde and she’s bound to tip over and you know–dominoes. 2.) Oosh–haha! She wonders if you think we’ll all fit? All 3 of us in a row? 3.) She’s wearing new lululemon and she’s not sure if they’re see-through. 4.) Because why? Did you get a Groupon for this class or […]

I thought Instant Pot was a quick way to score weed? and other FAQ’s

I purchased my Instant Pot during Amazon Prime Day but I didn’t tell anyone. Is it too late to take part in the Larger Instant Pot Conversation? Oosh. I don’t know, Howard Hughes. Because really. What were you thinking, keeping a picture of the box arriving on your doorstep to yourself? Are you also the […]