Biggest High School Slut

Junior and senior year of high school, when I was going through my misanthropic, non-eating phase (still puzzles scientists how one can work 20 hours/week at Dairy Queen and still lose weight), Doctor Whatsherface gave me a prescription for birth control to “help keep me hormonally balanced.” Invariably, when I went to pick up the scrip, two of my classmates, Angie and Shan, whose mouths never stopped, would be working the pharmacy counter at CVS. I knew they knew. They knew I knew they knew. I lived in fear that they would out me, Campus Ministry Girl, as the biggest slut in school.

Today, workplace is having a Blast from the Past Friday. Everyone has dressed as they did in high school. My cubemate is wearing an air-brushed T-shirt of Sebastian Bach from Skidrow. Bossman is dressed as Billy Idol. I am in full high school dress uniform, only I had to wear hub’s white button-down shirt because mine doesn’t fit me anymore.

Oh yes. That’s right. I’m sixteen and pregnant. The prophecy has been fulfilled. If only Angie and Shan could see me now.

  • Desh

    love it.

  • Kathleen

    Dress code violation for not having elastic at the bottom of your shirt to make it look like it was tucked in.

  • That? Is awesome!

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