Caring for the Grammar Purist in Your Life

The Holidays are the hardest time of a year for a grammar purist. It can be especially exhausting to care for the grammar purist in your life as he/she copes with descriptive grammar everywhere. The omnipresence of improper punctuation is also a trigger.

For example, have you ever considered “Season’s Greetings” if improperly punctuated? To a grammar purist, this is pure psychological warfare. What if the card were to say Seasons Greetings? As in a plural set of seasons are busily greeting. The grammar purist immediately embarks upon the following journey of images:

As you care for the grammar purist in your life, you may want to note common places where grammar impurity is tolerated, in order to help your purist not have a conniption fit. You may see him/her writhing in pain at the simple opening of a letter. SO many Christmas cards with, for example, “The Higgenbottom’s” as return address. THE HIGGENBOTTOMS. PLURAL. NOT POSSESSIVE. You may hear him/her muttering, as he/she reads another Christmas letter ad nauseum:

“It’s ‘This year was special for my family and ME.‘ ME. I is not a direct object pronoun or even an indirect object pronoun!!!”

Understand that mumbled grammatical lessons to an unsuspecting or even an invisible audience is normal behavior for a grammar purist, particularly for this time of year. As long as the grammar purist stays in a healthy zone of the didactic, rather than the preachy or even violent, he/she should emerge from the holiday season with sanity intact.

Although difficult to avoid, you should try your best to steer your grammar purist away from shopping malls where signage with grammar impurities run rampant. Lest your grammar purist be compelled to correct every sign hastily printed:

ultaerror

 

 

 

 

 

 

Loving your grammar purist can be a thorny business as you endure their spastic, oftentimes inconsolable tantrums over seemingly inconsequential ¬†matters. However, your abiding is appreciated and will reap plenty of rewards in the new ¬†year when he/she is back to helping you edit your cover letter for that new job you’re about to snag. Yay, grammar purity!

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