31 Flavors

If you want to know the true condition of a woman’s soul, just be a fly on the wall with her while she’s trying on pants in the fitting room at TJMaxx.

After rifling through rack after rack at the Maxx (never EVER the same place twice!), trying not to monopolize the Size 6P rack but also trying not to be steamrolled by other Maxxinistas, she has gained herself a Maxxive migraine and she is headed toward the dressing room. It strikes her as especially kind that the retail godesses have decided not to call it a fitting room. Fitting room implies that one is gauging whether things fit, rather than just getting dressed. Much kinder semantics.

But the reality is that, some pants are just not going to fit. Muffintop, anyone? Plenty to go ’round! And three dressing rooms over, some bombshell is gushing with her girlfriends (how many of them can FIT into one of these DRESSing rooms?), “That top is so cuuuuuuute!” and the woman by her lonesome is sighing to herself over the fact that the petites rack is eighteen million yards away and she is now looking at the full-length mirror under unmerciful lighting at her thighs that look like two unbaked loaves of bread smooshed into one baking tin GAH, this is a tiresome business!

However, so as not to be all cliched, the woman reminds herself that she is being that cliched woman in a dressing room and that she should just get over herself and drive to Ann Taylor Loft where there is a Pants Event!!!!! going on RIGHT NOW, and she knows that the modern fit is for her, so let’s just put our birthday moneys toward some proper britches and put on our ‘at and be ‘appy!

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I turned 31 yesterday (and apparently I turned British in the last sentence, please mind the gap in consciousness) and today I went shopping for work pants and I started to be that cliched woman in a dressing room but then I reminded self that I was 31! And 31 year-olds do not cop to a cliche! So I bought myself some gorge new slacks from ATayLoft and one day I will show them to you and you to them but for now, let me show and tell some of the lovely people that helped me celebrate 31 flavors.

My colleague Tara and her famdam

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Brianna made these cupcakes to live for…

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My colleague Keely and her crew. Love having friends/neighbors/churchies with wee kidlets, too.

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Aliya and Brianna. These girls will restore your faith in the next generation.

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There are people. In my house. In Tennessee. They are not frowning!

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P.S. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING THE ASH CAMPAIGN. WE RAISED $178 TO FIGHT MALARIA. DOWN WITH MALARIA, UP WITH Y’ALL!

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